When Boundaries Become a Form of Self-Love: A Lesson from Ashlesha Nakshatra

The universe never sends us random people. Every soul that enters our life comes with a lesson — to awaken us, challenge us, or guide us deeper into ourselves. Earth is a school, and we are all students. Regardless of our age, there's always something within us that needs healing, nurturing, or a shift in perception.

This blog is based on a personal experience I had as a single mother navigating the pain of heartbreak — the kind that comes from trusting a boy in a man's body who played with a woman's heart. After years of emotional push-and-pull, I finally found closure. That story deserves its own post. But what followed was a deeper lesson — about self-love, boundaries, and karmic ties.

After my breakup, a close friend of mine — a tarot reader — introduced me to another single mother. She was my age, also raising kids but from 2 baby daddies. She said we’d get along well, and since I’d been in hermit mode, I decided to give it a try. When we met, I instantly felt her warmth. She was sweet, caring, and beautiful. I felt compassion for her — she didn’t have a car, so I offered to take her along on grocery runs. We bonded quickly, both single moms who loved music and nightlife.

But soon, I noticed patterns.

She loved going out — clubs, concerts, weekly parties — and that was her vibe, which I initially found exciting. But it became clear she was overstepping. She started calling every week, mostly asking for favors: to borrow my car for her driver’s test, even though I needed it for work and school runs; asking if her kids could use my condo’s pool, requesting pickups, and more. It became constant. My time, money, and energy were slowly being drained.

I started pulling back. I stopped answering her texts and calls as quickly. I was shocked — how could someone our age be so needy and unaware of boundaries? When I eventually expressed that I needed space, she called me selfish, saying “friends help each other.” But I was choosing to protect my peace.

As I got to know her more deeply, I discovered she often slept with men to receive favors, had unresolved trauma, and was caught in a cycle of toxic relationships — one where she was consistently disrespected. That’s when I realized: people who don’t respect themselves can’t respect you. I had become a resource, not a friend — because I was self-sufficient and generous.

I’ve learned that some people fall in love with your hands more than your heart.That’s where the biggest lesson came in: boundaries.

When I finally cut her off, something within me shifted. I felt unblocked. I could give more to myself and my children. My finances improved. My energy returned. I was studying, building, growing again — aligned with my path.

I don't share this to offend anyone. I approach life with compassion and diplomacy. I study Jyotish and psychology to understand people — not to judge, but to uncover root causes. My friend isn’t a bad person. I genuinely wish her well. But I am not God — I can’t save everyone. She has her own karma to live out.

She’s a Cancer Sun, born under Ashlesha Nakshatra, a placement known for deep emotional intensity, strong attachments, and at times, manipulative tendencies when unhealed. I observed this energy firsthand. She drank and partied often, saying it was part of her culture — but to me, it felt like escapism.

Her childhood was filled with pain. She was separated from her mother due to her father's control, and by the time she had the chance to reconnect, her mother had passed. That trauma shaped her — she fled her home country through a relationship that later fell apart. Her ex moved abroad with her youngest child, who now lives with his new partner. Despite all this, she remains in relationships that repeat cycles of disrespect.

I see her pain. But I also see the path she refuses to walk: healing, solitude, growth. She fears being alone and fills her world with noise — clubs, substances, distractions. But healing requires stillness, honesty, and the courage to break patterns.

I had to choose myself.

I’m 36 years old, and this experience taught me that we attract reflections of the parts within us that need care. Her neediness showed me where I lacked boundaries. Once I honored that, everything began aligning again.

So if you’re feeling stuck or blocked, ask yourself — who in your life is consuming more than they give? Where are you saying “yes” when your spirit is screaming “no”? Sometimes the next level in life won’t unlock until you learn the lesson standing in front of you.

This is one of mine.And I’m grateful for it.

Ashlesha Nakshatra is one of the most fascinating and psychologically complex nakshatras in Vedic astrology. Let’s dive into the mythology, psychological traits, and reasons behind the manipulative or needy behavior often associated with Ashlesha energy

🌌 Mythology of Ashlesha Nakshatra

• Ashlesha is the 9th Nakshatra (16°40' to 30° Cancer) and its symbol is the coiled serpent.

• It’s ruled by the Nagas, or serpent deities, deeply revered in Hindu mythology as beings of mystery, power, protection, and transformation.

• Its planetary ruler is Mercury, giving it a sharp mind, analytical skill, and verbal cleverness — but when unbalanced, this intellect can also turn into cunning behavior or emotional manipulation.

  
  

In mythology, the Nagas were guardians of wisdom and hidden knowledge, especially esoteric, tantric, or underground (occult) energies. But they also had a dual nature: they could either bless or curse, protect or poison — depending on how they were approached. This duality is the key to understanding Ashlesha.

🐍 Psychological Profile of Ashlesha Nakshatra

Ashlesha is associated with emotional entanglement, psychic sensitivity, and deep karmic lessons, especially around the themes of trust, power, boundaries, and control. It represents energies that are coiling, binding, or entwining — much like how a snake coils around its prey or a vine wraps around a tree.

Positive traits:

• Deep emotional insight

• Powerful intuition

• Protective energy (when mature)

• Mystical or psychic abilities

• Magnetic, seductive aura

  
  

Shadow traits:

• Manipulation and gaslighting

• Emotional dependency or codependency

• Passive-aggressiveness

• Neediness and energy vampirism

• Difficulty letting go or detaching from others

  
  

🧠 Why Ashlesha Can Be Manipulative or Needy

1. Fear of abandonment Many born under Ashlesha carry unresolved childhood trauma or ancestral karma that creates a deep fear of emotional abandonment. This can manifest as clinginess, dependency, or attempts to "control" people to avoid being left.

   
   

2. Emotional intelligence used defensively Ashlesha natives are very perceptive — they often know what makes others tick. When unhealed, they can use this insight to manipulate emotions instead of nurture them, often as a way to maintain closeness or avoid confrontation.

   
   

3. Past betrayal or loss The serpent energy remembers everything. Ashlesha people may hold onto past hurts or betrayals for a long time, and unconsciously repeat karmic patterns — attracting relationships that feel intense, karmic, or binding.

   
   

4. Shadow Mercury influence Mercury in Ashlesha is not always playful or light — here it becomes calculating, strategic, and even deceptive when the person feels emotionally threatened. This creates a tendency to “mentally control” relationships or create illusions.

   
   

5. Ancestral or karmic contractsMany Ashlesha natives are working through deep-rooted karma involving the misuse of power, especially in emotional or sexual relationships. Their souls are often on a mission to learn about authentic connection without control.

   
   

🌱 How Ashlesha Can Heal and Evolve

• Shadow work: Working with the inner child and healing abandonment wounds is essential.

• Boundaries: Learning to respect others' space and one's own emotional needs.

• Energy cleansing: Because Ashlesha picks up on energy easily, practices like salt baths, cord-cutting, or chakra work help clear toxic entanglements.

• Tantric wisdom: Ashlesha has a strong connection to sacred sexuality and kundalini. When awakened, this nakshatra can transmute poison into nectar — transforming obsessive love into divine compassion.